At Last

If you’re planning on getting married, and even if you’re not planning on it, let me give you a word of advice… Never walk down the aisle to a classic love song just because you think it’s so fitting and chichi. You will hear your “perfect song” on tv, in the grocery story, in the elevator, in movies, in your favorite restaurant, at the dentist, at the gyno… Which is ok, I guess if your relationship is as perfect as the song was.

I was listening to the radio today and “At Last” came on, and for the first time in a long time I was able to listen to it without having the urge to throw up or ground a burning cigarette into my right eye. At last.

In Honor of Those that Protect and Serve

The Bicentennial State Park

POW- Infantry Museum

Infantry Museum

Me and Israel- My boyfriends son just graduated bootcamp. He’s so excited.:)

Infantry Museum

 My Grandmother and grandfather He served in the military as an army sergeant and even had purple hearts. What an amazing man, and a wonderful couple. I miss him so much.

Thank You, Troops!

No News Is Good News

This morning I decided I’m giving up on the news. Every morning as I head into work, NPR keeps me company in the car. Like every morning, as I got in the car, I turned on the radio as I thought to myself, “Let’s see what bad shit is going on in the world today!” and I began listening to my negative passenger.

A man was talking as a translator droned on over his voice. He explained that God is his only hope and protector. He lives as a refugee on the side of a road. Every day he lives in fear of being kidnapped or killed. I listened to him intently as if he was telling me about his favorite ice cream flavor.

I put myself in his shoes for a moment. Or I tried to at least, but I realized that there’s no way I could even begin to imagine what his life is like. Does he wear shoes? Does he sleep on something or in something when he falls into a nightmare slumber? Does he eat every day or drink water? And on some level, it hurt just a little knowing that people really live like that. Every day.

And here I was previously, dreading going to work, as I navigated my car, while drinking coffee and smoking my cigarette. It doesn’t seem so bleak of a day anymore.

I flipped the radio off and watched the autumn leaves blow across the highway underneath a sky draped in clouds shadowed in various shades of gray. I decided right then… I’m going to have a good day.

Finally…

I set up my WordPress page weeks ago. And every so often since then, I’ve logged on and just stared at the blank page with only one simple title “Hello World!“. Finally I got tired of looking at that title and I deleted it.

I would stare at those words. They seemed to get bigger and bigger on that blank page. And I watched them like a hard shell crab watching an exacto knife coming closer and closer to cut me open.

I smile and grin every day, shining my light on everyone around me, as I feel the grey shadow of who I used to be spreading across my sleeping soul.

But… I will do what that sleeping soul dreams about in its slumber. I will do what I ache to do. I will set aside my fear. I will write.